I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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