you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
