Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I need moral support for this bender
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
