no you cant smoke seaweed
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She even gives head with a lisp.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
