I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
