Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
