You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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