i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
