her vagine was all disorganized.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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