Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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