Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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