I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
