There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
