I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
In other news, I just burned my penis
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
