I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
