We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
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