What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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