Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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