I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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