I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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