In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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