That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
