I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
