it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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