Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
