Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
