could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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