You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
