So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
