he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
