Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
