She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
