Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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