i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
