U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I hope mine doesn't look like that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Floor bacon is actually really good
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
