i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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