I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
