Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is wine microwaveable?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
