Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
