i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
