Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
