Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
