Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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