Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just found a bag of teeth...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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