i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
