We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You can't motorboat a personality
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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