I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
