Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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