Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
