Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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